Add exactitude to your gratitude

Who has helped you along your path? That was the question posed in the last blog. Who was your Obi-wan, Morpheus or Pumbaa? I wonder if Luke, Neo or Simba took the time to offer some gratitude about how the help helped (other than those glowing looks and knowing nods at the end of movie)?

Research from Columbia Business School shows that the givers of help are particularly tuned to the effect of their advice and guidance has had on the receiver. So people who have helped you the most, are inherently invested in hearing, learning and appreciating the impact of their help on your path. So why not take a moment to express your gratitude to the person who guided you? mentors mentor for a reason and it tends to be altruistic – but they receive affirmation based on knowing what happened after. So instead of dropping a thank you note and just saying er  “thanks”, try making your expressions of gratitude as specific as you can. For example, what has the effect of their advice been, what is different now as a consequence of you taking action? Put some exactitude into your gratitude.

Do you feel awkward about writing or speaking this gratitude to someone else? Rather than focus on your ickiness, focus on the positive effect it will have on someone who went out of their way to help. Haven’t got the time today to pen a message? Then remind yourself about the decision your mentor made to give you their time, way back when.

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”-  William Arthur Ward

For more on gratitude and the neuroscience of flourishing take a listen to episode 041 of the podcast with Dr Hannah Critchlow


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